I've been thinking about posting this for a few days, but never had the guts. I mean if you know me, nothing in my life is secret, I TALK A LOT. About the good, the bad, and the ugly. But this is pretty personal!!! (At least to me!!) It's hard to talk about especially since when I read blogs and facebook, life seems pretty hunky dory for most people. So here goes:
Sometimes I don't like who I'm becoming. I used to consider myself pretty patient. I taught 200+ junior high students a year and didn't really lose my temper too much (I probably should have more often). I was pretty even keel when it came to my mood. Now I feel like I'm all over the place.
I get angry so much more often. Sometimes, it doesn't even take anything to set me off. I yell at my kids, get upset with them, and then feel horrible about it. But then a few minutes later, it starts all over again. I feel so out of control at these times. I can't help but get angry!!
This makes me feel even worse! I talk to my kids about talking nice and not yelling, but I know that they learned it from me. How do you get through it?
I know I'm a good mom. My kids are happy and healthy. I am teaching them to be obedient and respectful. They are learning what they need to. I give them opportunities to have fun and grow, but....
I have this issue with my emotions. I hate getting angry at my kids and I don't know how to fix it!
I haven't re-read this to see if it makes sense, because quite frankly, I don't want to cry again. Just the life of a mom!!
5 comments:
oh andrea! i thought this same thing SO many times recently. i seriously thought the other day, "i used to be so patient and happy all the time..." funny that we are feeling the same. it must mean we are not alone!
i blame sean.
hahaha, jk.
i wish i had advice or an answer to make you feel better...it's hard to be mom sometimes. i have had so many mothers whose kids are grown tell me that this time, when your kids are little, is the hardest time of their life. the most exhausting and emotional. i try to remember that everyday, that my kids will be little for a short amount of time and try to not wish it away...
First off, I just have to say that you are THE BEST mom. I have always looked up to you and admired the way you raise your children.
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I think one reason emotions run so much higher when we become moms is because of the huge responsibility that comes with our job. I don't care what anyone says, being a mom is the hardest job out there. Its 24/7, we don't ever get to punch out, when the day is over we don't get a 30 minute commute home and to gather our thoughts and have some alone time, and we NEVER get to retire. Its a FULL time job with a lot of rewards, but sometimes those rewards don't come til a ways down the road.
Like Stacy I don't have the answer. I know its true that this time when our kids are young will go by so fast, so I guess we all just need to cherish it and let the little things go.
Because when they are grown and gone we won't care anymore if they cleaned their room every single day, or if they were potty trained at a certain date, or learned their abc's at the same time as other kids. I hope this makes you feel better....being a mom is HARD!! Love you Andrea...
PS I just put a quote on my blog that I'm sure you've read, I read it for the first time a few months ago and it really hit home to me...puts raising our kids in a whole new perspective.
Andrea, you are definitely not alone! I have thought that many times. I still struggle with it. The thing that has helped me is getting away. Taking time for yourself. If you have time for yourself to do what you want to do and refill your bucket, so to speak, you will have more patience and love for you kids.
It has helped me! I big on naps (of course it helps that Charles is home during the day). When I take a nap or even just go in my room and read for a half hour or an hour I am much better with the family!
Hey sweetie! As you read we all know what a great mom you are. It takes some "tough love" to raise the kids. You said it yourself they are happy and healthy. You are still the teacher and disciplinarian. And, yes, that's the hard part, it's the learning and growing process! You are doing and have done terrific. When it gets bad STOP - breathe - and say a little prayer for help to get through!
When they are grown and have families of their own you will sit back and reap the reward of your work. Like me! I couldn't be more happy or pleased with how you have grown up and the woman and mother and wife and sister and daughter and friend you have become. I LOVE YOU.
Andrea, I struggle with the same thing. It seems like I am always praying for the same thing. Please help me to not get angry with the kids. It is a daily struggle, that I lose most days. I never realized how hard it would be to be a mom. I have even gone as far as to tell Joe that I just don't like being a mom. (That is after an especially hard day.) I guess we just keep trying and hopefully do a little better each day.
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