After 5.5 years of trying to have children and not having an answer as to why we weren't able to have children, Gary Weight called us in May 2004 and said he had a baby for us to adopt. We decided to go ahead with the adoption. The baby was due on August 1. We had found out it was going to be a boy and had bought a few outfits. On Sunday July 4, 2004, my parents came over and told us that the baby had been born on July 1 and the birth mother had given the baby to her brother. He had taken the baby across the state lines and it was pretty much over. I didn't care that we had paid money to her, I just was upset that once again, I wasn't going to have a child. Over the next few days, it seemed like the tears wouldn't stop. I had told my friends at school and had to email them about the failure. I remember going to school on Thursday, July 8 and seeing my good friend Connie. I just cried and couldn't say much to her. I even remember what I was wearing, red capris with a black shirt. After doing some school work to keep myself busy, I was driving home crying through all the tears and asking Heavenly Father when it was going to be my turn. I felt hopeless because I was now back to the beginning not knowing what would happen next. I went home and took a nap on the couch.
Paul was home, I don't remember why, but he got a call from his mom. He came and told me his mom wanted him to come over. I asked if I could tag along. I was inside and he and his mom were outside on the deck. I remember seeing his mom give him a piece of paper. A few minutes later, he came inside and gave me the piece of paper. It was from Lauri Buhler, a neighbor, and mentioned that she knew of a baby that needed to be adopted and had thought of Jill and was unable to get a hold of her. Jill was worried that Paul had given me the noted because she knew I was so emotional. I told her that the decision to adopt had already been made. If we didn't keep trying these things, we would never end up with a baby. We called Lauri over to tell us more about the baby.
Her sister, Diana, was a Relief Society president in Eugene, Oregon. A lady in her ward was pregnant and wanting to give her baby up for adoption. She had tried several different avenues of find a family, but had failed. She had even looked at LDS Social Services and the Bishop's son, but was unsuccessful. She had a list of qualifications and had been unable to find someone that met the qualifications. Diana had called Lauri and asked if she knew of anyone who wanted to adopt a baby. Lauri said she didn't know of anyone. I believe it was maybe a month later and Diana called Lauri again saying she really felt that someone Lauri knew needed this baby. Lauri was beginning to wonder if she and her husband should take the baby. On the morning of July 8, Lauri was reading her scriptures and meditating. Jill's face popped into her mind and she tried to call Jill, but couldn't get a hold of her. So she wrote the note and had her son put it on Jill's door.
Diana called me later that day. She mentioned the list of qualifications and Paul and I met every one, except the birth mother wanted the mother to not work for at least 5 years. I mentioned that I was already contracted to work the next year, but that both grandmothers would watch the baby. She said she would pass our information on to the birth mother.
That night we talked to the birth mother, Summer. Paul talked to her because we didn't know what to expect and I was still too hurt from the last one. I remember sitting outside on our back patio listening to Paul talk to her. It was really positive and Paul felt very good about what they talked about. We found out that Summer was 42 and was married to Tim. They had only recently been married and Summer actually thought she was in menopause and didn't know she could get pregnant. She had given her first child up for adoption to her sister and she had 3 other children. They were struggling financially and she had some medical concerns that was going to make it difficult to raise a child. After talking to her, we all decided that this was what was supposed to happen.
The baby was due in October, but due to Summer having placenta previa, the doctors thought she would deliver a month early. On July 10, we went to the matinee of Phantom of the Opera in Salt Lake. When we got out, I checked my cell phone and had several missed phone calls and a message saying that the baby was born, 3 months early. What a wave of emotions I was feeling from excitement to fear. I didn't know what to expect. Later that day the doctor called and told me of the problems this baby could have. He also happened to be in the bishopric of Summer's ward. He told me that we didn't have to go through with this adoption if we didn't want to and to make sure that it was really what we were going to do. He mentioned cerebral palsy and I was so nervous. I didn't know much about cerebral palsy, but I didn't know if I wanted to have a child with it. After much thought and prayers, we decided to proceed with the adoption. I had the feeling that regardless of the problems the baby would have, this baby needed parents and we were to be those parents. On Monday, we had my dad get started on our adoption work and on Tuesday morning we headed up to Oregon to see the baby. On Wednesday, we got a call from Diana asking where we were. I told her we were in the parking lot of the hospital. She said that Summer was anxious because she wanted to make sure her baby would have someone to watch over her. We arranged to meet with Summer and Tim on Thursday.
We went into the hospital not knowing what to expect. We talked to the social worker and she asked if we had ever seen a preemie. I said I had seen them on TV. We walked into the NICU and saw Kaja for the first time.
She was so little and fragile and it was a very overwhelming, but I knew this was our baby and she was meant for us. We were immediately given Legal Guardianship and Power of Attorney. This gave us the right to decide medical care.Before our meeting with Summer and Tim, we went to the mall to get Summer something. I wanted to get her some of my favorite lotions. I was nervous about meeting them, but calm at the same time. We had a good meeting. We were able to find out a lot about each other. They asked if they could see her one last time. They went on Friday evening and said their last goodbyes to her.
After 2.5 months in the hospital, on September 22, we were able to bring Kaja home to Utah. She has blessed our life since then. She has taught us so many things and I will forever be grateful to Heavenly Father for bringing my daughter to me in this way. This trial increased my faith in a way that nothing else could. I know that Kaja was meant for our family. I am grateful to Summer and Tim who had the strength and courage to give us Kaja and trust us to raise her.
Three years later, she continues to be a miracle. She has overcome everything that has been placed before her. I love her more every day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAJA!
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